This song always makes me energetic and happy. ‘I’m Evergreen’ means no matter what happens, how hard and complicated life becomes I’ll always be the way I am. I will laugh at the face of problems because I know that can and I will survive it. ‘I am every Color, I am Evergreen’; I am happy, I am sad, I am a failure, I am a winner, I am envious, I am kind, I love, I hate….I am every color, I am evergreen.
I wrote an article three to four years back on ‘YouthHood’ for my college magazine. It is one of my favorites. I thought of sharing it with you all; I have edited it a bit.
In this lifetime we all experience different and exciting journeys. Childhood – the beginning of our life where one lives a dependent and totally nonchalant life, Adulthood – an independent stage of life where one’s worn-out tools are experience, wisdom and maturity and in between these two stages comes the most memorable and enchanted journey of life; the YouthHood. It is just a moment but it’s the moment, the spark, that we always carry in our hearts. Youth has no age limit, it can stay in you as long as you feel young.
So, what is YouthHood? Youth is when you dare to look into eyes of the world, when you look at life from your point of view, when you try to solve the problems your way, when you have too many questions but no answers, when your life’s motto becomes “Do then die”, when pleasure is in climbing the walls rather than using the gates, when ‘whys’ and ‘hows’ keep popping in your mind, when you think your parents are the ATM machine, when ‘cool’ and ‘hot’ are the only adjectives you remember, when Fashion becomes necessity, when flying without wings seems worth a try, when you laugh at the face of danger and of course, when Love is in the air and studies NOWHERE! If you start experiencing all of this then friends….Welcome to YouthHood! A lifetime to go flashing from one end of the world to another, to hear the chimes at midnight, to see the sunrise in town and country, to wait for the dark and gloomy night just to see twinkling stars, to run a mile to see a fire and to take the sunny side of the road instead of the shady one. This is what we call YOUTHHOOD; a memorable and unforgettable journey of one’s life . To sum up, I would like to quote Henry Longfellow’s saying:
“How beautiful is youth! How bright it gleams with its illusions, aspirations and dreams. Book of beginnings, Story without end, each maid a heroine and each man a friend.”
I dedicate this poem to all past, present and future Mother-in-laws. Puleeez don’t take it to heart, of course it’s all just good humor you know ;).
P.S. okay I know it’s not like…a proper poem. I wrote the first two stanzas 4 years back for one of my debate on “Mother-in-law or Monster-in-law” and I just added two more stanzas to it.
I have met a guy;
Not a fancy-looking guy,
Just someone who is cool
And hot as July,
He is so amazing, I’ll love him all my life.
But this cool guy
Lives with a woman who’s a spy,
Someone who is anything but human
And trust me, she loves to make me cry,
Her planes to fail me, makes my brain fry,
Now I bewail my decision of marrying that guy.
Thanks to that woman; my life is a living hell,
And she gives a damn, oh yes I can tell,
Complaints and taunts are all she can give,
But when her son is around, she treats me so well,
She’s evil and witchy; my husband is under her spell,
Oh Lord, please help! grant me license to kill.
“Now what’s she up to?” I’m always thinking I swear,
And all her conspiracies are getting hard to bear,
Yes we all have this devil in our married lives,
So here is an advice which I really want to share,
She kicks, she bites; you better handle her with care,
Forget she can be your mother as she’s always be a Monster-in-law.
Hedy Lamarr has rightly said: “A good painting to me has always been like a friend. It keeps me company, comforts and inspires.” It doesn’t really matter if you can understand art well or not but whenever you see a good painting or any form of drawing you just feel like appreciating it. And if the painting speaks for itself and you can find a connection to it then you feel inspired. I am also that kind of person who may not have much knowledge about art but I never hesitate to appreciate any inspiring art work and most importantly ‘creative work”.
Today I will show you some brilliant and spectacular sketches of my friend and colleague, Nyla Talpur, that will leave your jaws hanging down. Nyla is a student of BBA(H) at Institute of Business Management(IoBM). Although pursuing her career as a business student she has immense interest in drawing and painting. She says:
“As a kid, drawing to me was like escaping from the reality that I didn’t like. And even today I like to express my emotions and feelings through drawing and painting. When I hold a pencil or paint brush in my hand with a canvas in front of me I drift away into some other kind of world; which is more real and better to me.”
Here are some magnificent sketches by Nayla Talpur:
I bet your jaws are hanging down (just like I promised) 😉 I really can’t think of proper words of appreciation. I think she’s just marvelous in what she does and her drawings can connect to our hearts.
“Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.” – Thomas Merton
Whenever we dream to get something really badly and we don’t get it, we become furious. Similarly, when we want to become something in life but we are unable to, we become disappointed at ourselves. No, I won’t say things like one should not lose hope and keep on working hard etc because I believe it is a natural thing to feel that way and we can’t really help it. Yes! We can’t. To feel upset and dejected about not getting what you want is nothing but being what you are…a HUMAN. And those who say that they don’t feel that way or ask you not to feel that way are just trying to act cool and wise (trust me on that).
So it is very clear that I am not going to lecture you on ‘being strong’ and ‘never stop trying’. In fact you know what? I am going to say “STOP TRYING!” stop trying so hard and give yourself a break. Hey! Don’t be so quick to declare me ‘insane’, just be patient and continue reading (please).
We all have dreams, we set goals and then we strive to achieve them; sometimes we thrive, sometimes we don’t and when we fail we become miserable at ourselves. With this begins the blame game; it happened because of ‘me’, because of ‘them’ or because of my ‘fate’. While playing this never-ending game we also ask ourselves millions of questions; why did it happen? Why my hard work didn’t pay off? Why they succeeded but not me? Why did Allah do this to me? Why life is so unfair? (and then the most deadly ones), Why I couldn’t do it? Am I a failure? Am I good for nothing? Am I not as brilliant as others? Am I that unlucky? (SIGH!) It goes on and on….and the worst thing about this question/answer session is, that it’s not only painful but it also makes us more depressed and makes us think more negatively about our capabilities. That’s when we start being skeptical about our abilities.
Failing in our goals is not the real problem but asking ourselves all those useless and stupid questions is where the actual problem lies. But no matter what, we all do this mistake, don’t we? Because at that time we just couldn’t think of anything good about us and our life. And we need to change that. Instead of asking such millions of questions just ask yourself these two questions:
- Did I really work hard and gave my best?
- Is this dream really right/good for me?
If you can answer these questions truly to yourself then it can do wonders for you and then it’s you who will say that maybe I should ‘stop trying’. The first question might be a bit tricky to answer but it’s not going to be difficult. Usually we think that we have tried our best and did everything we can but mostly it is not true. So after failing first ask yourself that did you really try hard? And was it enough? Trying hard means being 100% dedicated and focused towards your dream, being honest and loyal to it, trying every possible thing or way that can be helpful, not caring about days and nights but just about your dream and giving up everything else to achieve your dream. If you think you did it all (or more) then it means you worked hard and you can move on the second question but if you have doubts then maybe you should try again (in this case, don’t stop trying)
Now comes the most challenging part. When we dream for something that dream becomes our life. We start chasing it, often before being sure that it is what we really want; and thinking if it is the right thing for us. Sometimes our dreams are influenced by our surroundings or by the society in which we live in; Ali Zafar is so famous; I also want be a musician, I can’t choose arts because everyone in my family is a doctor or engineer so I’ll have to become a banker, she’s on a merit scholarship; I will do anything to get it too, he’s such a good debater; I want to be like that too, everyone is becoming a fashion designer so I want to be one too, etc etc. So did you see the influence? That’s why I believe it is important to know what you really want from inside. It is good to be impressed by the qualities of others and trying to inculcate them in yourselves but expecting too much from yourself is just going too far. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, capabilities and incapacities; one cannot become expert at everything.
A person who is brilliant in sports, drawing, writing and speaking might not be excellent in studies. He/she may get good or poor marks but not brilliant marks and this is not because he/she is a failure but because studies are not really their strong area. It’s just like a student being a top scorer in Math but being average or below average in English. As I said you cannot be excellent in everything.
If you have a dream to become an out-standing artist for instance and you are sure that’s what you want, you should try your best to become one. But even after trying again and again you are not as out-standing as you dreamt to be then trust me you should stop trying so hard. Don’t burden yourself with goals which are way too difficult for you to achieve. What’s the point in chasing some dream and giving up everything else for it when it is not doing any good? Maybe it is not meant for you. I believe and I’ve learnt from my life experience that if you are unable to achieve something that you want so badly, even after working hard and giving your best, then you should let it go because it is not for you. Allah knows what is best for us better than us; if He has not given us what we wanted then it’s only for our own good. That’s why I say stop trying to get what you have not gotten. Instead of continuing the chase after it and exhausting yourself may be you could direct all your energy and hard work towards something else; you never know you might be extremely talented as a singer, writer, actor, leader or something entirely new. Remember that everyone is special in their own way; if you are not good with numbers then maybe you are good with colors or whatsoever. It is all about unleashing and discovering yourself.
So what if you are not excellent in studies; you are brilliant in sports, so what if you are not a melodious singer; you are an incredible song-writer, so what if you are not a spectacular artist; you are a remarkable designer, so what if you are not famous and admired by millions; you are a good human being and loved by thousands. Instead of being disappointed at what you have not become and achieved in life, be proud and happy at what you already are and have achieved in life. Just because you were incapable of becoming one good thing doesn’t mean that you are good for nothing.
I read a very self-motivating quote somewhere long time ago but it is only recently that I start believing in it. Here it is:
“You have a piece of good news inside you. The good news is you don’t know how great you can be.”